Going to church with my kids

  I'm back in church! I'm going with just my baby boy Michael! Let's face it, Michael was a good baby, very easy to take anywhere! I still wanted my husband to go with us, as a family! That's what it's about, right!
I have the sister missionaries over a lot to help me with my husband. I asked him to take the lessons, he accepts! Sister Brooke Jones and her companion start giving him lessons!During this time Sister Jones and I developed a bond! True sisterhood that lasts to this day! Great for me! Barton asked for the lessons to stop. They did, but the sisters and I were still friends and still came over! Great for me! I got to make them dinners and sweet desserts!

  Then we moved to Lathrop. Different Ward same Stake! Now I had to drive 20 mins to go to church instead of 5 minutes. I went, made lots of new friends!

    My first Relief Society activity! I was excited to go! For some reason Barton didn't want me to go. He told me that I could, but I can't take the car! Thinking there was no way for me to go now! I looked at the Relief Society phone found the name Sasha Grove then proceeded to call her! Never met her before, but I was not going to be stopped from going to this activity! That was the start of Sasha and I's friendship! Sasha couldn't take me. She just got home from the hospital with her newborn baby boy! Me calling Sasha like that showed Barton that I was not going to be stopped! He allowed me to take the car. lol

    I was expecting Devin! Barton developed a friendship with the Elders in our area. Brian Grimm and Jason Watts. They gave him the missionary lessons and asked if he would like to join, at the time he agreed! I thought at 1st "oh how wonderful!" He even quit smoking for 2 weeks! One Sunday, going into church with Micheal and my big baby belly I felt a prompting that Barton wasn't ready yet, he even started smoking again. Rebecca Woods was getting out of her van at the time of this prompting asked me about Barton's baptism I said " he isn't joining, and I'm glad, he doesn't  have his own testimony, he was doing it just to please me"  she said " that's good then, that he isn't joining yet, he needs his own testimony"
Yes, I was crushed. I told the Elders from then on " I will not ask Barton to take the lessons! you want to, you ask him yourself" The wonderful Elders worked so hard, and was crushed too, still hopeful for maybe one day.

   Now Devin, my red headed teddy bear! Lets face it, not an easy baby! He was always hungry right in the middle of Sacrament!  When he was hungry watch out! He never gave any warning, just started screaming! It was funny when he was screaming, he turned red and looked like a fireball! I even started spiking his hair to add to the fire ball! LOL As Devin got older, it only got harder. Devin would scream, cry, and hit me the whole time! I often, or every Sunday had to take him out to restrain him. Not an easy baby, toddler! He often head butted me and loosened my teeth. The people in the Cameron Ward were very nice! They never judged me or made me feel bad about him. Luckily for me people would watch Michael while I tended to Devin's overwhelming meltdowns! There was a nursery leader that loved him so much, saw Devin's sweet spirit! She protected him. She new when people were getting into his space ( not meaning to ) told them to leave him alone!

    Mira! When I was pregnant with Mira the Ward split taking us back to Kearney 3rd ward, and Cameron ward became Far West Ward. Mira was an easy baby. Really, after Devin every baby is an easy baby! She is my last baby and only girl. I made sure to dress her in the prettiest girly dresses out there! I enjoyed my doll! During sacrament when I had to feed her I had Michele Miller and Paige Dicky, mother daughter team! They sat with the boys, and chased Devin down! They lived behind me, and I lived behind them! We rode in together. I needed them! I'm glad they were there me and my family! We went on trips together. Omaha Zoo and we even went to Nauvoo! I don't know what I would have done with out them! When Devin was diagnosed with Autism, ODD, MOD, OCD tendencies, and severe ADHD they still watched him! Their support helped me keep it together! They had to move when Mira was 19 months old. I was alone again.

    Now 3 kids, and still no husband to help me at church! Many Sundays I didn't want to go! Devin's meltdowns took/takes a lot out of me! During Sunday school I would go hide to cry.
When we went back to Kearney I did have one family that did judge me! They did let me know what they thought! But I still went to church! Luckily for me, they moved a couple of months after the ward split! I found out that they only have 1 child with no special needs, so how could they understand what I was having to do! It must look bad seeing someone having to restrain a child! It must look terribly lazy to bring a toddler in ( as they said tie him up!) a  stroller and let him take off his top and color his whole body green with a non toxic marker! They won't have to go thru what I've gone thru! That's fine! Devin has taught me a lot, all my kids have! Poor them, they will never have my knowledge or strength!
Don't ask who it is! I won't say!

When Michael started Kindergarten, we started reading the scriptures together! ( mainly me reading to him)
I would stop between chapters to explain to him about what we read! That is when I truly understood The Book of Mormon!  I felt the fog leave my head! I finally related to it and truly understood! I know it to be true! I tried even harder to keep the spirit in my home! I looked at myself and changed! I can not change my husband! But I am going to change how I look at us! I am going to be happy! I made my choice to marry him knowing that he is not of the same faith! How dare I even try to change him like that! It was my choice to go back to church, not his.  Life was a little easier after that!

                                                    Top left Paige Dicky and Michele Miller

Bottom Right Rebecca Woods

Top left Elder Jason Watts, top right Elder Brian Grimm                             

Bottom left Brooke Jones Hinckley, bottom right Sasha Grove